'Cause What I Wanted To Say Never Came Out The Way I Wanted It To.

What I wanted to say only got in the way.

I've been talking with my friend Heidi online, & we were talking about social skills, basically. Lately I've been feeling like sometimes my brain gets so excited during a conversation that my mouth can't keep up. Then my words get all mixed up & I end up feeling like I sound stupid. Another thing I notice is that sometimes I will be having a good conversation with someone, & I will just stop talking & let the other person do all the talking. I've noticed this happening especially when I'm passionate about the topic. I've been thinking about it & wondering why this is, & I remembered that one of my church mentors in middle school told me once, in front of my friends, that I talk too much. And my friends all agreed. I was so hurt & embarrassed. I really think it's kind of given me a complex, because before that I NEVER would have thought that I talk too much...I thought I was just social. And to have all my friends agree...idk. It was just kind of a slap in the face, & I think in the back of my mind I worry that people are going, "gah, this stuttering chick won't shut up!"

I'm watching "Enough" with Jennifer Lopez on TV. It really makes you understand how some women get in a situation where their husband/boyfriend beats them & they can't get out. It makes you think twice before judging women in that situation. Sometimes they really CAN'T "just leave"...it's more complicated than that. If you haven't seen it I actually recommend it. It's interesting.

I need to go to bed soon. Gotta get up early & get some practice in & run some errands before we leave for Kenosha tomorrow! Pray for me! I'm really nervous!