I'm not sure what I'm doing. Or where I'm going. I'm pretty sure Isaac & I are over. I've been trying to do what I can to make it work, but nothing's changing. I think that...he just doesn't want me, but he's too scared to tell me that...so he's just stopped talking to me. This is all too much to deal with right now. I have seen so many possible outcomes of my future, & there isn't a single one that doesn't have him in it. I don't want to be with anyone else. I don't want to "get over it." And everywhere I look my friends are getting engaged or new boyfriends or having babies. It should have been us. Everyone thought it was going to be us, myself included.
The thing that sucks almost as much as losing him is that I have no one to help me through this. None of my friends in ABQ have bothered to keep in touch. I don't have a single close friend that I can call & cry to. I'm tired of having one-sided friendships, where I'm always there for my friends & they can't squeeze in time for me. Maybe that's selfish, maybe I should just love them & be there for them without expecting anything in return, but is it so crazy to think that maybe there are times when I need them too? I don't know...I'm just tired of living for everyone else. It's not working. Nobody hangs out & stays friends forever like in "Sex & The City" or "Friends."
My life is so not turning out how I thought it would. I just want Isaac.
2 comments:
i think to some extent i understand, situation was a little different..i feel for you..
the friend thing REALLY sucks..i struggled with that a lot this past year...and you are not being selfish.
i'll be praying for you..
I can relate to the friends not keeping in touch. You know how many times we've moved and I can count on one hand how many friends I can still count on. You really learn who your friends are in a time like this. However, some people are good friends, they just don't keep in touch very well.
Remember when Brittany broke up with Clint in May? We were pretty sure the world was coming to an end and look, it didn't.
Don't give up.
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